Of course over the last few weeks I have been going backwards and forwards over podcasting again, but this is not more rumination. Instead it is emotion towards lost relationships, at least one sided ones.

During my 5 years working around the UK I spent a rough average of 5 hours a day driving, often much more. This time was always filled with podcasts. Each time I turned the key, after a few seconds pause my trusty Ford CMax (I had three of them in a row) was filled with my chosen episodes.

Hours and hours of my life I spent listening to Podcast personalities that taught me so much. They were my introduction to tech, to working on an iPad, my glimpse into brand new ways of thinking and new topics for me to become interested in. As the miles rolled on, I devoured whole episodes of my favorite shows over and over. The hosts shared personal insights with me, and we built up and very one sided relationship. I felt invested in them as podcasts and also individuals.

When my working life changed these dropped away, and as COVID hit they disappeared completely. These relationships my mind had built were severed and almost all of which I have no interest in now. It was only when compiling a list of my podcast feed now that I realised how many people have slipped out of my life.

I am filled with a strange melancholic feeling towards these shows and people. I am thankful for everything I have learnt and the interests I have found, but realised this was all one sided. All of a sudden understand people that become obsessed with people from TV shows than mean something to them.