Old Man Personal Best

I called my Robin Hood time an OPB and didn't really explain it. It stands for Old Man Personal Best. When I turned 40 I deleted every personal best I had, wiped everything off Strava, and started counting again from zero. I've not regretted it once.

When I was younger, all the way through my teens, I shared the track and road with two club mates, Ian Boneham and Steve Ablit, who pushed me but always overshadowed me. Not to mention growing up in the same age group as a certain Sir Mo Farah. All the way through my 20s and 30s I ran fast and well, setting personal bests I'm still very proud of, but as my mid to late 30s approached I slid further and further away from them and knew I'd never get back there. I just didn't want to admit it.

So for years every run was a comparison with a bloke who didn't exist any more. I'd finish a half marathon, look at my watch, and all I could see was how far off I was from something I ran in my 20s. It didn't matter that the run was good, or that I'd trained well, or that I'd enjoyed it. It was slower than it used to be, so it was rubbish.

I spent a long time mourning that version of me and trying to get back to him, and the harder I tried the worse it got. I was tired, injured and frustrated, and every run reminded me of what I used to be able to do. I was training a nearly 40 year old body to hit times I set in my 20s, and I was surprised it kept breaking.

Wiping everything felt stupid at the time. Every distance went back to no time at all, so whatever I ran next was a PB whether I liked it or not. The first few were slow, which was the point. The 1:41 half I ran at 41 was a PB, and I wrote back then that it was nothing special, but it was the fastest I'd run a half marathon for a very long time.

Winning for me is being better than I was yesterday, but that doesn't work when the comparison is 15 years ago. Starting again meant that I could compare times against myself again, and actually do something about improving.

I'd be lying if I said the ego had gone. I still know the old numbers, and there's a bit of me that would love to see one of them again. I just don't let that bit pick the targets any more, but my next OPB will hopefully be the marathon.